One of the most common things I hear after an affair has come to light is: “I need to know everything.” Not just the broad facts, but the specifics. Where did it happen? How many times? What was said? Who initiated it? Did it feel different? Was it better? For the person who had the […]
After an affair: Do you really need to know every detail? Read More »
Many people who come to therapy are surprised to discover that their pornography use and their mood might be connected. Sometimes people seek help because they’re feeling low, flat, disconnected or depressed. Others come because they’re worried about how much pornography they’re using, or because it’s causing tension in their relationship. Often these two things
Pornography and depression: What’s the connection? Read More »
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Understanding sexual dreams, emotional meaning and therapeutic interpretation… Dreams have a habit of throwing up the most random plot twists, but nothing jolts you awake quite like suddenly finding yourself in bed with your ex. One minute you’re asleep, the next you’re staring at the ceiling thinking absolutely not, brain, we are not doing this
So, you dreamt you slept with your ex… Read More »
Why desire dies when you’re exhausted You finally crawl into bed, longing for rest. But even as your head hits the pillow, your mind won’t switch off. Did you send that email? Remember to buy milk? Who’s taking the kids to their appointments tomorrow? Your partner reaches for you, but your brain is already
Is your mental load killing your sex life? Read More »
The psychology, the pros and cons, and how to be honest about sex and what it means for your relationship Faking orgasms is more common than most people realise. Many women, and some men too, admit to doing it at some point in their lives. It’s one of those topics that can bring a mix
Why we fake orgasms Read More »
Starting therapy can feel like a big step. If you are reading this, you have already done something important: you are considering giving yourself the space to pause, reflect and get support. Many people feel uncertain about what to expect from therapy or whether it will “work.” That is completely normal. Is therapy confidential? One
What to expect from therapy Read More »
Many couples go through periods of reduced or absent sexual activity. For some, this is temporary, linked to stress, illness, or life transitions. For others, it becomes a long-term silence in the bedroom that leaves both partners confused, hurt, or disconnected. As a psychosexual and couples’ therapist, I often see couples who fear that a
Our silent bedroom: when couples stop having sex Read More »
This post is part of Couples in Crisis, a blog series drawing on real-life stories from the therapy room. Each post explores common relationship issues, from infidelity to fertility loss, through a therapeutic lens. All names and identifying details have been changed to protect confidentiality. Whether you’re in crisis, at a crossroads, or simply curious
Perimenopause and marriage: How to cope Read More »
Couples in Crisis is a blog series exploring the real-life dilemmas that bring people into couples therapy. Based on clinical experience (with all client details changed for confidentiality), each post looks beneath the surface of common relationship struggles—like infidelity, fertility challenges, communication breakdowns, or monogamy—and offers a compassionate, therapeutic lens to help couples feel less
When one of you doesn’t want sex Read More »