Low Sexual Desire in Men: Understanding and Overcoming the Struggle
Sexual desire fluctuates throughout life, yet when a man loses interest in sex, it can be an isolating and confusing experience for both him and his partner. As a relationship and sexual therapist based in London, I see many couples facing this issue—yet few feel comfortable discussing it.
How Common Is Low Sexual Desire in Men?
While low libido is often associated with women, research suggests that one in five men will experience a decrease in sexual desire at some point. However, due to societal expectations that men should always want sex, many struggle to acknowledge the problem. Instead of addressing their concerns, they may avoid intimacy altogether, leaving their partners feeling frustrated, rejected, and confused.
The Emotional Impact on Relationships
If your partner is avoiding intimacy, you might feel unwanted, disconnected, or even ashamed. Sex is more than just a physical act—it fosters emotional closeness and reassurance in a relationship. When intimacy fades, couples can feel distant, leading to resentment, insecurity, and miscommunication.
Many women in this situation assume they are the problem, questioning their attractiveness or suspecting infidelity. However, a drop in libido is rarely about a lack of attraction—it is often linked to deeper physical or psychological factors.
What Causes Low Libido in Men?
There is no single reason why a man’s sex drive diminishes. Common causes include:
Physical Health Issues
- Hormonal imbalances (e.g., low testosterone)
- Cardiovascular disease and poor circulation
- Diabetes and obesity
- Chronic illness or medications
Encouraging your partner to visit a GP can help rule out underlying medical conditions.
Psychological and Emotional Factors
- Stress and work pressure
- Depression and anxiety
- Low self-esteem
- Past trauma or sexual abuse
Mental health plays a significant role in sexual desire. Therapy, self-care, and stress management can help address emotional barriers to intimacy.
Performance Anxiety and Confidence Issues
Many men worry they are not “good enough” in bed, which can lead to avoidance rather than facing their fears. Sex therapy, education, and communication can rebuild confidence and rekindle intimacy.
What Can You Do?
Rather than resorting to lingerie or spontaneous seduction, focus on open and honest communication. Let your partner know you miss intimacy and are concerned about your relationship. Chances are, he feels just as worried but doesn’t know how to start the conversation.
Steps to Reignite Desire Together
- Start a Conversation – Express your feelings without blame or pressure.
- Encourage a Health Check – A doctor’s visit can rule out medical concerns.
- Address Stress & Mental Wellbeing – Lifestyle changes, counselling, or relaxation techniques may help.
- Explore Therapy Together – Sex therapy can provide guidance, tools, and reassurance for rebuilding intimacy.
- Be Patient – Desire often returns as stressors fade, but professional help can speed up the process.
When to Seek Professional Support
Differences in libido are among the most common reasons couples seek sex therapy. In fact, research suggests that one in three couples experiences mismatched sexual desire at some point. This is completely normal, and help is available.
If low libido is affecting your relationship, sex therapy can provide a safe space to explore the issue, rebuild intimacy, and strengthen your connection. You deserve a fulfilling, healthy sex life—and support is just a conversation away.
Book a Free Consultation Today
If you or your partner are struggling with changes in sexual desire, don’t suffer in silence. Contact me today for a confidential chat, and let’s find a way forward together.
