Here are 10 reasons why counselling might be right for you…
- Communication breakdown: Have you become that couple go out for dinner and sit in silence, with nothing to say to each other anymore? Maybe it doesn’t take much before conversation deteriorates into a battle for control, righteousness. Or do you frequently find yourself justifying or defending decisions or opinions? These are all patterns you need to break.
- Same old argument: If your arguments have you trapped in Groundhog Day, then you don’t need me to tell you how exhausting it is to argue on repeat. It’s really draining, but hard to know how to put those tensions to rest. Unresolved conflicts just cause resentment and that can quickly undermine a good relationship.
- Infidelity: This doesn’t have to mean the end of the relationship, but working out if trust can be rebuilt or whether you’re better off apart is rarely straight-forward. Finances, family connections and parenting can cloud the issue. Both partners will need to look honestly at what led to the infidelity and deal with the aspects of the relationship that aren’t working.
- Life transitions: Our emotional reactions to life changes tend not to be black and white and some are plainly irrational. All big milestones, including the ones we anticipate and ones that are supposed to bring us joy, can end up straining our relationship. Getting married, moving home, changing jobs, having children or retiring is never simple.
- A lack of intimacy: Some couples don’t mind not having sex or physical intimacy, but most people struggle without a level of closeness. Over time, the void becomes harder to bridge and can lead to feelings of disconnection, low self-esteem, insecurity, isolation, and resentment. Understanding what’s caused this breakdown is the first step to healing.
- Parenting challenges: My therapist used to describe babies as ‘timebombs’ that go off in our relationships. They ruin our sleep, stop us having sex, demand our attention, disrupt our careers, drain our finances, and drastically change the shape of our lives. It’s no wonder that relationship satisfaction plummets when children arrive and it can take years, not months before couples recover.
- You want different things: The wonderful but sometimes hugely frustrating thing about all of us is that we can change our minds. Politics, religion, goals, visions for the future, likes and dislikes, our perspective can shift and if our partner doesn’t follow suit, those differences can cause real tension. Therapy can help couples talk it out and explore a possible compromise.
- You’re in last chance saloon: One or both of you might be seriously thinking of divorce. But even when couples hit this point, many still want to try to save their marriage. They often want to try to keep what they created, sometimes for the sake of children, because one partner still loves the other or because the practicalities appear too daunting.
- It’s all too depressing: When one of you suffers with anxiety or depression, life at home can start to feel incredibly bleak. It’s not just the partner with depression that struggles. It’s hard to know how to help your anxious loved one and over time, both of you can start to feel very low. A therapist can help you see how the relationship can support you through this time, not drag you down.
- Prevention is better than cure: Some couples don’t need a ‘problem’ to bring them therapy. They take a proactive approach and get help before crisis hits. They try to build a solid foundation, develop good communication skills and learn how to navigate their way to a fulfilling relationship.
If you’re not sure what to do, let’s have a quick chat about it. Contact me at anna@kingsleycounselling.com to book a free 10-minute call.
